History of the John Rogers’ Poop, Part I
Well much to our amazement and to others’ dismay we’ve been more or less continuously and successfully running for a year. So to celebrate this prodigious occasion and to answer several of your e-mail questions, we proudly present to you the history of the
It all started in the fall semester of 2006. A small group of students were hanging around the table in the pit and were eagerly participating in the sharing of law school gossip. One such fellow commented on Dicta’s erratic printing schedule at the time, along with that publication’s inability to provide interesting articles. This wise gentleman came up with the idea of creating a fake gossip newsletter akin to The Onion. His idea for the first headline would be the announcement of his pregnancy and examining the allegations of which faculty member was the other parent.
What would be the name of this journalistic endeavor? The John Rogers’ Poop. The group around the table was shocked. Not at the idea of a guy being pregnant, but that such a scatological name was surely inappropriate. But the young future lawyer ensured that no fecal implications were intended. In fact, according to the Random House Unabridged Diction, “poop” is a noun that means a form of relevant information, esp. a candid or pertinent factual report; or the low-down of a situation.
With the cog wheels of idea turning in the heads of the participating individuals, the next step was to fine a qualified staff to run such a publication.
The first such hire was The Honorable Richard Posner’s evil brother,
The Son of Torts was the next individual to take a staff position. With previous journalism experience, the Son of Torts was a qualified investigative journalist in the likes of I.M. “Fletch” Fletcher. His uncanny ability to report on what’s important to the student body, like lack of free lunches, is truly a great asset to the John Rogers Poop.
The final initial staff member is none other than Harry S. Wrinkeltushy, Esq. Several students were aware of his previous residence at the bus station located on
The 2007/2008 school year has brought several other important staff additions.
There is Alain Benson, who’s countless hours spent in the bottom level of the MLIC, gives him the opportunity to report on library specific events.
Dirk Stronghold, while simultaneously writing on all three legal journals, thankfully sets aside time to provide up-to-date information on the members of the law school’s seemingly upper echelon.
Then there’s Kiki Kapowski. While no one intended her to actually being a continuous contributor, her “Kolumn” provides important reader/writer interaction; as well as, the catty attitude found in undergraduate sex advice columns.
As the school year moves forward and the next one slowly approaches. We encourage you to continue to enjoy the John Rogers’ Poop, provide us with your feed back, and follow Ima T. Messce’s example by being a helpful contributor that makes “The Poop” a rewarding experience for all involved…staff and readers alike.
Wrinkeltushy Announces Bid for SBA Presidency
By: Harry S. Wrinkeltushy, Esq.
I, Harry S. Wrinkeltushy, Esq., hereby announce my intention to run for the Student Bar Association President. Sure I may be a bit old and starting to go senile, but I’m the only qualified candidate that the
Do I have experience? Of course I do, I’m old. I’m full of lifetime experiences, many which I claimed for credits which went towards my Ph.D. in Women’s Spirituality that I received from
Some of these lifetime experiences have crossed into the political spectrum. In 5th grade, my class voted me to be the lucky and responsible individual to lead them to the cafeteria during lunch time. I held this honorable position for a whole 2 weeks until a recall election was held. Apparently I got easily distracted and lead the class astray a few too many times, but I think they enjoyed their lunches out in the play yard.
I’ve had numerous unsuccessful runs for many municipal and school board elections. Although I did get a seat on a county’s board, but later found out that the position was dissolved when I came back from a vacation.
There is also the time I was successfully voted out of being the block captain for my neighborhood. I correctly believed that allowing people to paint their doors red was unconscionable, distracting, and contributing to the delinquency of the neighborhood’s youth.
What will I provide the student body as their newly elected Commander-In-Chief? The following is a brief list of my agenda:
· Lower the cost of sodas. The student body needs it’s caffeine fix and sometimes it’s really inconvenient to constantly ask your friends if they can spare a dime.
· Place the “Ask a Dean” box in a location where it might actually be utilized
· Getting the word out about Ruckus, the free online music service
· Limit the amount of times a student association can order Mazzio’s for their meetings, especially when Arby’s is just down the road.
· Increase the number of daily emails everybody receives, regardless if such information is irrelevant to their law class.
· Move the pictures of notable past professors around, because a little bit of change and variety can be stimulating.
· Make sure that class schedules for registering for upcoming semesters are released earlier so that students can start studying for finals without the additional stress of planning their futures. Such information would also be beneficial so that students could inform their potential employers about their schedules if they are intending to take summer classes
· Putting a stop to the concern that the Boesche Legal Clinic is undergoing steps to secede from the University
· Allocating funds to get two-ply toilet paper in the bathrooms
· Continuing the fight for a respectable grade curve
· Making Tom Scott’s “Today” the College of Law’s official song, because I believe we should live for today and not worry too much about our future.
Remember to vote on April 9th or 10th.
Wrinkeltushy ‘08
We’re Sorry, So Sorry
We would like to apologize, even though Yom Kippur is a ways off.
We’re sorry to the individuals who did not find last month’s issue funny. We appreciate the criticism, even if it is writing “NOT FUNNY” on an issue and taping it to a wall. We honestly appreciate such actions because it shows us that 1) people are actually reading “The Poop” and 2) it’s a perfect example of exercising one’s first amendment rights, something we strongly encourage and is the main driving force for those of us who write for “The Poop”
We would also like to apologize to those who may have been offended or didn’t get a chance to be offended by Ima T. Messce’s article on the tort of Intentional Infliction of Sexual Distress. We would like to point out that our “manifesto” is located on our first issue, which can be found on our blog:
johnrogerspoop.blogspot.com
Also, if you wanted to read the back half of last month’s issue but couldn’t due to the printing error (we simply don’t have the same resources as Dicta), that can also be found on the blog along with all previous issues.
As always, we appreciate any feedback or submission. Both can be sent to hwrinkelsesq@gmail.com
Be sure to join our facebook group “Friends of the Poop” to show your appreciation.
The Staff of the John Rogers’ Poop hopes that everyone has a great summer (H.A.G.S. !!!!!) and makes it back next year.
And of course…good luck on finals
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